A Room

Sitting on the hardwood chair in the middle of this dark room I think of nothing but where this will lead me, how this will affect me and why I'm here. It doesn't necessarily have to have a deeper meaning as such why we are here on Earth, questions and thoughts regarding our existence and the like, even though this will be the inevitable end of the line in this manner of thinking. At this moment I think merely in small terms, such as what purpose I am fulfilling by sitting here. Am I failing my purpose by not having light in the room so that I could sense what is around me? Or am I fulfilling some sort of vague purpose simply by thinking, by processing what information has previously sought it's way into the depths of my mind? If so, what information would be relevant enough to heighten to the peak of the mind and what information is irrelevant enough to be shun away into the abyss of forgotten thoughts? Is one thought truly worth more than another? Is perhaps the process of thinking itself an achievement? But what if my thoughts aren't new and original? What if they aren't leading to some sort of benefit to society? Of course, I am in this thought assuming that the society is the greater good which isn't necessarily true, especially if my current existence is nothing but a punishment, a hell if you will. In this case the question gets even more blurred.

I stand up.

I lie down on the floor which feels oddly comfortable. Is it my depressing thoughts that make my mind such a misery that even something as hard as this floor can bring some sort of comfort to me? Perhaps it's just a wish of dying that is stimulated by the pain in my back as I lie here in the darkness.

I reach for the light switch.

The power's out. Either that or the lamp needs a new bulb. Isn't that just like reality in a way? Isn't depression just a dark room with a broken light? Or is it perhaps the other way around? Is it the light that clouds our vision with falseness that forces us to live by certain rules and the only real truth is darkness? I cannot say. Maybe there was no light in the first place. One darkness replaced by another that we only realize as darkness because it is even darker than the prior. Can darkness be accepted as light simply because it's shade is slightly brighter? Or perhaps not even brighter, simply different. The other darkness...